♥BAHAAHAH FUCK YOU!!!!! (:♥

okay I'm leaving this buzznet and I made a new one I will only give it out to my friends and if u care u will add me if not then ur lost .. I'm going to start over and not have to stress bout ppl sooo yeah msg me if u want it if not then ohh well ....

 

~!PEACE OUT!~

♥XxX♥ Well I will begin with HER! Sami x] ... gosh she is Amazing! and Wonderful ... she is the best .. I can't live without her she means the world to me don't forget tht bitches ... Together Forever Baby x]

♥XxX♥ NEXT!! ... Zacky .. NO DUH ... I love him everyone should know tht he makes me HAPPY ohh and he's HOTT!! now who wouldn't love tht so don't forget tht bitches xP

♥XxX♥ DUH!! Syn is next goooooooooooo SYN!! x] ... he's HOTT awsome and wht he does and I look up to him he's my role model I would die if Syn died :( ... got it hoes? (jk jk)

♥XxX♥Javi well theres alot to say tht but I don't want to cry :'( ... he's kinda my boyfriend ... I love him lots he makes me smile and cry all together .. it's hard not to love him and well he makes me blush more then others and I feel improtant wen we tlk .. I love him .. got it friends?

♥XxX♥EVERYONE ony my tops!! u guys ARE AWSOME .. I would be lost without u guys u mean th world to me soo ... I LOVE YOU ... no matter wht ppl say u guys are th SHIT x] ... ROCK ON!!

♥XxX♥EVERYONE ELSE ... hehe u guys are speical 2 I didn't forget u hehe I love you keep on rocking .. x] .. don't let ppl bring u down u rock my friends .. HOPE ... WE ... STAY .. Friends x]

 

♥xXx♥ Well here I go again acting like a baby ... making u all hate me .. I jus want to say sorry fr all th trouble I have brought apon you ... I didn't mean to really x| ... I shouldn't have opened my mouth :( ... I hope u find it in ur hearts to forgive me fr all th pain I have caused you ... I didn't mean to really x( ...

Sami!! I Promised you tht I was not to do nothin stupid I'm going to keep tht promise okay ..  promise you baby ... together forever remember? .. I love you Jelly x) .... ur mines and I love you x]

Bro ... sry!! bout last night I don't hate you I love you x) ... ur awsome x) ... I would hate to lose you in anyway ... u mean a lot to me and ur funny u rock x)

To all my other friend u commented on my journal I REALLY sry!! I don't tlk to u guys much so I shouldn't do tht ... tht is a big NO NO!! ... I promise u all no more acting like a baby I got to go up thnkies fr careing .. anf I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY!! I LOVE YOU GUYS ...

♥xXx♥Plz!! Forgive me pretty plz!♥xXx♥

 

 

♥xXx♥.... Kathy ... Gates (aka Peanut Butter) ...♥xXx♥

Well there A LOT of shit going on in my life I thought I could but this pass me but I was wrong ... I thought I had my life were I wanted it but NOPE!! ... someone made it hard fr me YET AGAIN .. I mean really .. am I really tht unloveable .. to be sooo alone but yet to have soo many friends around me I don't get it ... wht am I doing wrong? ... it is jus me or is it tht I can't find someone to love me I mean really?

♥xXx♥ LOVES!! tehe .. I hope u enjoy this chappie ... I'm sick and I don't think it's very good ... I think it's LAME as fuck soo plz!! be nice ...♥xXx♥

Ryan's pov ...

 I was pissed at the fact that Kathy made out with Gerard right in front of my face ... sooo wht if I kissed Brendon does not mean I made out with him right then and there .... that fucking kiss lasted 5 min .. I walked out the room and headed fr Frank's room ...

"Hey Frank where is Kathy and Gerard?" I asked lookin around th room ...

"ohh last I've seen them they were in the living room" he said

"well there not there now" I sighed

"SHIT!" he yelled and got up

"WHT?"

"well if there not here god knows wht there doing and where they are at"

"FUCK"

"I know Ryan we got to find them and FAST" he said

 We went to the roof and heard some noises I had a feeling it was Kathy and Gerard .. I kicked the door open and sure enough it was them, they were in each others arms it does not look like they were kissing it looks like they were hugging ...

"KATHY WTF?" I yelled with anger

"I jus needed to tlk to Gerard it's not tht big of a deal" she started to cry ...

"don't cry I'm sry I didn't mean to yell or over react" I said nd wlked over to her

"it's okay" she sniffed

I gave her a hug and took her downstairs, I figured Frank wanted to be alone with Gerard ... so I let them be ... I got to the room and Kathy layed down with tears in her eyes I wraped my arm around her and kissed her neck softly and rested my head on her side, she turned my way and put her head on my chest, I played with her hair ... till she and I fell asleep in each other arms ....

Brendon's pov ...

 I kinda liked tht kiss with Ryan he's kinda cute and he's nice to me most of the time .. other time he could be mean but hey thts why I love him soo much, I went home and Bianca went to sleep and me I was up watching tv, it was bout 12 am so I gussed everyone was sleeping except fr me ...

~*The Next Day*

 I fell asleep on the sofa and tht made my neck hurt ... I heard someone making noise from the kitchen so I got up and made my way toward to the kitchen to see wht was going on ...

"Hey Bren when did u fall asleep?" she asked

"I don't remember" I yawned

"wow" she smiled and pecked me on the lips

"I'm going to take a shower I'll be back" I said and walked to my room

 I looked at my phone, I got a call from Ryan ... I wonder wht he wanted ... I called him bck before I went into the shower ...

"Hey?" Ryan said

"Hey Ry" I said

"ohh Bren whts up?" he asked

"jus got up u?"

"same .. I was wondering if u wanted to come over?" he asked

"sure ... I'd love to after I take a shower k?" I asked

"okay sure see you in a bit" he said ans hnug up

I made my way to the bath room and took my shower I got ready and went to Ryan's house he was the only one home .... I guessed since there was no car in th drive way ... I knocked on th door and waited fr him to open it ...

"Bren" he smiled ad pulled me into a hug

"Hey" I giggled

"come sit down" he smiled

"sure" I said and sat down, as soon as I sat down he made his move ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey loves sry!! fr th cut off tehe ... sry!! it took sooo long to post as well .. ^_^ well anyways enjoy and this chappie goes out to Sami! ... I love you bby ur awsome .... u make me wanna write tehe love you Jelly ^_^

okay well I'm bored and I want someone to tlk to me so if u don't then I jus might not be ur friend anymore ... and I'm a nice person and I care ever sooo much sooo if u care u will note me or msg me or comment this if not by tomorrow u are no longer on my friend and u will never get a chance to tlk to me again ....

PEACE ~n~ LOVE ^_^

I Don't Know What To Call This Anyways Enjoy ^_^ .. This Goes Out To My Bby Sami She Has Helped Me A LOT!!! And I LOVE Her Thnks!! Bby ^_^

 
       ♥I Talk To You Day In And Day Out ...♥

       ♥But I Can't Get What Your Sayin To Me ....♥

       ♥It's Like The Words That Are Comin Out Of ...♥

       ♥Your Mouth Mean Nothin To You What So Ever ....♥

       ♥When You Say "I Love You" Do You Really Mean That ...♥

       ♥Or Are You Just Trying To Make Me Happy If So Your Not ... ♥

       ♥Doing A Very Good Job Of It, I Look Around And See An Empty Room ...♥

       ♥I Close My Eyes And I See You, I'm Scared To Close Them, So I keep Them Open ...♥

       ♥I Begin To Cry, Cuz I Miss You So, Why Did You Have To Leave Me I Never ...♥

       ♥Wanted You To Go, I Loved You, Maybe I Still Do, You Promised Me ...♥

       ♥Now What, I'm Left To Cry Over You, Well Thats Not Going To ....♥

       ♥ Happen, Cuz I Got No Tears, Left, You Took Them Away ... ♥

       ♥Me, Now I'm Just Worthless, This Is Not A Sad Story ...♥

       ♥So Don't Think It Ends In Death, It Ends, When I ...♥

      ♥Finally Open My Eye And Show I'm Jus Like You But Better...♥

      ♥In My Own Way, I'm Not Dranging, It's Jus A State Of Mind, That ..♥

      ♥Brings Me Peace, Sometimes You Jus Got To Believe And I Believe In The World ..♥

 

                                                       ♥xXx♥ The End ♥xXx♥

 

           

 ~*Okay here is the thing I got a friend who has a sis named Josie she is my friend as well but she is a totally bully thts right a bully she pick on little kids such as myself and laughs bout it HOW MEAN ...

~*Anyways she wants to steal my Syn and Zacky and The Rev Away from me and at one point my tickets .. pshh ... not very nice of her right? okay soo my friend Mariela and I are making a EMP ... and here it is

xXx First we will kidnap her and take her away from where she is at .. then we will take her TOC tickets wen she get them and then wen we go to the concert and rub it in her face now the reason we are doing this is cuz she is always like ohhh I liked this band longer so I get them not fair so were doing this plan to make a point ... jus cuz were younger means nothing ... we will get our man even if it kill us ... hehe Josie is 19 soo much older then me and Mariela ... her sis is awsome and I hope she does not get mad it's only fr th best okay soo Josie told me and Mariela tht we could not say .. pshhh ... cuz thts her word .. pshhh ... I could say wht I want ... so anyways were going to kidnap her and then take our man bck and then once we do tht were going to set her free in th middle of no where and then we will go there fr no reason and rub it in her face tht we got our men bck YAYz!!

^ Look this is the bully she looks nice but NOO she is not xP she is a meanie on th inside (haha not really but I'm tryin to make a point sry!)

now I will put some pic of the men she sooo wants to steal from me xP

One of The Guys I think wait idk if it was Zacky but still I love him .. he's so AWSOME ... hehe I love this damn pic hehe but I know Jomaris loves him so there an upper ohhh Jomaris is Josie sis tehe ^_^

Syn ZOMG!! he's HOTT!!! right .. he's mine ALL mine but NOOO I can't have him not fair right I should be able to ... like some ppl got there fave person right?

The Rev .. DAMN sooo HOTT I love him he's AWSOME right haha I wuv u Rev MINES MINES MINES xD

See theres the point haha this was fun this is not ment to hurt no one feeling this is jus a  joke we got out I'm not crazy here u would understand if u were going through the same sooo wht do u think?

 Well I'm bored really really really bored someone pretty plz I'll do anything haha ... well ppl tell me bout ur day ppls  I would love to hear it cuz I'm nice like tht haha ... x]

"A Little Piece Of Heaven" By Avenged Sevenfold x]


Before the story begins, is it such a sin,
for me to take what's mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what's mine, create what
God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that
something would go wrong,
before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,
conjuring her deepest fears
(come here you fucking bitch)

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it eat it eat it

She was never this good in bed
even when she was sleepin'
now she's just so perfect I've
never been quite so fucking deep in
it goes on and on and on,
I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever,
with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
let's make a new start
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
but baby don't cry

Now possibilities I'd never considered,
are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
to repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy
Eat it eat it eat it

Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I've done
’Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
while you burned in hell, no peace forever

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I’ll grant you one chance) *
And if it's not enough
(If it’s not enough, If it’s not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again

We’re coming back, coming back
We’ll live forever, live forever
Let’s have wedding, have a wedding
Let’s start the killing, start the killing

"Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?"
"Yes, I do"
"Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life?"
"I do"
"I now pronounce you"

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

[* Note: in CD booklet this line is written as "Well then I'll break you unchained"]

*sigh* I'm writing this one alone cuz my co-writer never came on after the 10th or 9th chappie I miss Jess she was my fave person ... now I got new faves ... anways ... I hope u like this idk how this will turn out .... so jus tell me th truth if u hated it k? ... thnks!! .... xoxox .... ~*xXx Enjoy xXx*~

~*Ryan's pov ....

 I had a feeling something was wrong with Kathy I just knew it so I graded my phone and called her .... no answer shit!! ... the last person she was with was Gerard ... should I try him? nah ....

 I heard my phone ring so I answered without looking at who was calling "Hello?"

"Ry?"

"yea who is this?" I asked

"it's me Bren whts up?" he asked

"ohh hey Bren .. ohh nothin much jus bored u?" I asked

"ohh same shit can I come over?" he asked

"uhhh sure if u like"

"alright thnks! bye Ry"

"bye Bren" I said and hung up

 I got bored waiting for Brendon to come sooo I sighed on to AIM!!! on my cell ... my friend Aubrey was on so I IMed her

xXx Ryro xXx: Hey Aubrey :D

XxXxBooXxXx: Hey Ry whts up?

xXx Ryro xXx: ohh nothing jus waiting fr Bren to come by u?

XxXxBooXxXx: on my way to the hospital

xXx Ryro xXx: wht fr?

XxXxBooXxXx: fr Kathy ur tellin me u don't know?

xXx Ryro xXx: know bout wht? WHTS WRONG WITH KATHY?

XxXxBooXxXx: she is in th hospital cuz of some OD with phills something like tht

xXx Ryro xXx: I KNEW IT UGH BYEZ Aubrey

xXx Ryro xXx has sighed off your message will be recived when the user logs in ....

As soon as I was bout to leave Bren comes in ... jus perfect wen I need to see if my girlfriend os okay my bestfriend comes over ugh ... he needs to come along with me or stay here alone ...

"whts th hurry Ross?" Brendon said

"HOSPITAL NOW" I yelled

"okay my car or urs?"

"URS" I yelled and ran to his car

 We got to th hospital we found Gerard and Aubrey there already my guess is tht Gerard brang Kathy here and called up Aubrey but why didn't he tell me anything?! ... could he be hiding something?! .. or he wants Kathy to hate me? ....

"WHAT HAPPEN?" I yelled

"I don't know" Gerard said

 The Doctor came out, I was soo scared that he might tell me something bad happen to her it's just nnot fair why couldn't I have been there for her or went with her DAMN IT!!! ..

"sooo" Gerard said

"well she is fine but the reason she passed out is cuz she is weak and my charts say she is a vampire has she been drinking blood like she is suppose to?" The Doctor asked

"I have no idea" I said with a sigh

"no she has not" Gerard said .... wait how does he know?

"ohh well one person at a time can see her and she wants to see Gerard" The Doctor said ..

WHAT WHY HIM WTF? ... how could she want to see him over me could she not love me anymore?? .. we've been datng for 2 years now ..

~*Gerard's pov ...

 I wondered why Kathy wanted to see me ... but I don't care ... I wanna see her as well ... I walked in and she smiled at me ...

"Hey" she said

"Hi my little vampire" I giggled

"so wht happen?" she asked

I walked over to her "you need blood"

"I do?" she asked with eye wide

"yea and u need it fast"

"DAMN" she yelled

"no shit" I sighed

 She looked at me and started to cry, I had a feeling tht she knew Ry was here cuz she has those kinda feelings ... she stoped crying ... and looked at th door ... I turned my head around and say Ry he looked pissed at th fact tht I was holding her hand ...

"ohh" he said and walked away

"RY?" Kathy yelled

"whatever" he sighed

 Damn I did it again ....

  ~*Hey loves ... I've been kinda depressed lately cuz somethings tht happen at school nd well I came out like th bad person nd all tht so if this is not th best chappie ... I'm sry!! I gots lots on my mind ....*~

~*Kathy's pov ....

"Spill" Bianca said

"okay" I said "well something happen umm ... like 3 days ago" I said looking down while my face got a bit red

"what happen?" she asked a little worried

"well I kissed Gerard but I still love Ryan" I said and played with my fingers

"WHAT?" she yelled

"well I'm sorry but it just happen" I said

"just don't let it happen again okay?"

"okay" I said and walked to where Gerard and Ryan and Brendon where ...

 For some reason Brendon wanted to play spin the bottle he's such a weird kid ... I swear, I went to the back room and got a bottle he wantred to go first so he did, he spinned it and it landed on Ryan ohh thats going to be weird ...

"well Bren your going to have to kiss Ryan" I laughed

"okay" he said and leaned toward Ryan, there lips met and they were stuck together for about 2 mintues, I looked at Ryan and he pulled back Brendon was smileing but I wasn't ...

"whoa!" I said and crossed my arms

"I know" Bianca said

"so it's your turn Kathy" Brendon said

"yea okay" I said and picked up the bottle, oddly it landed on Gerard, we both looked at each other and smiled, we leaned closer to eachother and our lip met, I could feel his hands on my back side and his tongue playing with mines, I didn't want to let him go but I knew I had to since everyone was watching, I pulled away without smileing, even though I was smileing inside ....

"Whoa!! now tht was longer then 2 mintues" Brendon teased

"I know" I blushed

"mhmm" Ryan said with a face

"who turn?" I asked trying to tlk bout something else

"no ones it's time to go" Ryan said and got up

"ugh fine" I said and left

 Me and Ryan made it back home he went straight to the room and I stayed in the livng room, watching tv, Frank and Gerard walked in and Frank looked pissed so I hugged my knees trying not to look to him he went to his room and Gerarde sat next to me I looked up at him and smiled he pulled me into a kiss ....

 I pulled back "Gerard you know they can come out of there room?" I whispered

"ohh your rite" he giggled

"no shit ... so um a hideing place would be nice" I smiled

"yeah" he said and graded my hand and took me to the roof

"whoa!" I smiled and looked at Gerard

"I know" he said and pulled me into a kiss

 I smiled to myself as I felt his hand moving down my backside I know where he was heading with that, I blushed a little as he stoped kissing me and started kissing my neck sooo softly with his gentel lips and tender touch, I heard something coming but I didn't want to pull away so I didn't, I heard someone mess with the nob and the door fly open .....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xXx A speical thnks!! to my awsome buddy mcrtilldeath she is jus so damn great haha ohh btw Bill is better then Gerard ... sry! girls :D well I'll try my best to update my others it willl be ubber hard but I'll put my all in it okay thnkies fr reading comment and buzz xXx .....

      ~* Don't kill me cuz it sucks I try okay I never ever made it this fair so th fact tht I did it WHOA!!! so I hope u enjoy nd if u update any of ur fics let me know cuz I LOVE THEM!! .... *~

~*Gerard's pov ....

 "yeah I was going to ask her at th show with all th fans but she is NOT HERE" I yelled

"it's going to be okay I'm sure she is fine" Frank said

I sighed nd ran to th bunk area, I jumped on th bed nd took out my phone I had like 15 texts from Kathy nd Patrick ....

~*Kat's msg*~

 GERARD!!!! I NEED U MY PHONE IS ABOUT TO DIE nd well I'm scared nd I'M LOST nd well I miss you nd nd I'm loseing A LOT of blood Gerard baby I'm scared ... xoxo ... :( .....

 I threw my phone nd ran out th bus Frank followed, I ran all over nd I was triped but Frank caught my fall finally I stoped to catch my breath wen Frank asked "WTF?!?! are we doing?" I gave him a look ...

"looking fr Kathy and Patrick"

"oh okay" Frank smiled

"yeah so hurry u little butt up" I laughed

"yeahh yeah"

 

~*Kathy's pov ...

 I'm still loseing blood nd I'm starting to feel light headed, nd I was cold I'm jus glad tht Patrick is warm so I could cuddle up to him a bit ...

"Patrick" I said with a smile

"yes?"

"I'm cold"

"awwe here take my jacket" he said while taking off his Jacket

"thnks!! Patrick" I smiled nd give him a quick peck on th cheek

he blushed "thnks"

I giggled and rest my head on his shoulder, I was getting sleepy nd I stopped loseing blood thnk god!! I was scared I was going to die from major blood lost ....

"Patrick?"

"yea?"

"I'm sleepy"

"me 2" Patrick yawned, he moved on his bck nd I put my head on his chest

"goodnight" I said and closed my eyes

"night" he said nd put his arm on my waist

 ~*Morning*~

"Good Morning Patrick" I said nd kissed his cheek

"WHOA!! it's morning wow" he smiled

"I know we have to start heading back"

"yeah I know" he sighed

"whts wrong?"

"oh it's nothin it's jus tht I -- nevermind" he got up and looked away

"whts th matter?" I asked nd looked at him "Patrick te--" I got cut of cuz he kissed

 I looked at him nd I could see tears form into his eyes, I didn't know to do or say so I gave him a hug ....

"I'm sry! Kat" he forwned

"it's okay Patrick" I smiled

 I heard ppl coming our way nd to be honest I was kinda scared I heard Gerard's voice so I was not tht scared I was HAPPY!! ...

"KATHY" Gerard yelled

"I'M OVER HERE" I yelled, He walked toward us nd gave me th biggest hug ever.

"OMG!!!" he said with joy

"I'm so happy to see you Gerard" I smiled

"same here I love you so much" he smiled and kissed me

"I love you as well dear" I smiled

  He walked bck to th studio area hand nd hand, Patrick kept to himself nd so did Frankie they both look happy but yet disapointed it's kinda weird if u look at it, we got to th bus nd greated everyone, Gerard got ready nd so did I, we were all ready nd it was time to go on My Chemical Romance was on first so I didn't get to see Gerard as much as I liked ....

~*Mcr Proformance*~

 Gerard got on stage nd started to sing "Teenagers" my fave nd then "Mama" another fave nd I think he's next song was "Cancer" after tht he said something to th crowd I can't catch wht she said seeing how th ppl was SO LOUD ...

"KATHY" Gerard yelled, I looked at him nd smiled "WILL YOU COME HERE PLZ"

 I looked over at Josh who was standing next to nd smiled nd walked over to Gerard, he gave me a quick on th cheek nd got on one knee I knew where this was going nd I could not be any happier ...

"Kathy will u marry me" he asked with a smile

"umm ...."

~* Well she has already readd it cuz I sent it to her cuz I'm awsome like tht haha GO ME!! well anyways th reason I saw tht it's fr her cuz well cuz I do think of her like all th time cuz she is jus so AWSOME ... I do think of others but I can't say who :D

 "Monsoon"
 By Tokio Hotel :D

I'm staring at a broken door
There's nothing left here anymore
My room is cold
It's making me insane

I've been waiting here so long
But now the moment seems to've come,
I see the dark clouds coming up again.

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world,
To the end of time,
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm,
Into the blue,
And when I loose myself I think of you,
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon.
Just me and you

A half moon's fading from my sight
I see a vision in its light
But now it's gone and left me so alone
I know I have to find you now
Can hear your name, I don't know how
Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
To the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I loose myself I think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Hey! Hey!

I'm fighting all this power
Coming in my way
Let it send me straight to you
I'll be running night and day
I'll be with you soon
Just me and you
We'll be there soon
So soon

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
To the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I loose myself I think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Through the monsoon
Just me and you
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

~*♥Well I have no clue why I feel like a bad person I mean I like to help people but for some reason I feel like a bitch  and like no one really cares and also I don't get why I change so fast, at first I loved Gerard and then Frank and then Ronnie and now Zacky and next Bill, does this mean the real people like Bianca and Jomaris and bestie Angel, are going to be replaced because if you look at it I change stars what makes you think I won't change people this scares me A LOT!! I wonder is there a way were I can't change this ughh .. life ... is ... soo ...unfair HELP!! ME!! understand...

some very random pics of stars I loved and or love ....

Bill Kaulitz (new love)

he's so cute how can I not love him?

Zacky Vengeance (recent love)

so HOT!!

Gerard Way (my true love)

well I would post more pics but I'm to lazy but u get th point I jus don't understand how is it tht I can change with in a blink of an eye nn then out of no where I forget bout th other person .. I think I did tht to someone speical nd dear to me nd it hurts me cuz I love this person but I love others as well nd I jus pushed them to th side do u think thts a prob?

  ~*ugh jk I'm finally feeling better to post so u better like it if u don't then fine be tht way =P lol well anyways enjoy =D *~

~*Gerard's pov

 I can't believe I did tht but I had to it's been in my mind for th past 4 years now nd I've been holding it in sooooooooooo long it was getting hard to hold it in any longer .....

"Kathy I'm sry!!" I said nd played with my fingers

"it's okay" she smiled

"u sure?" I asked with a confused face

"I'm 100% sure tht I don't mind"

"hmm ... thts odd"

"y do u say tht?"

"cuz I though u would be mad at th fact of me kissing u"

"oh no I'm not mad" she smiled

 I looked at her nd smiled, she leaned in closer nd kissed me nd walked away to her house, I got out of th car nd grabed her arm nd she jus smiled ....

"wht was tht fr?" I asked

"oh nothin I jus wanted to do it"

"y would u want to aren't u with Ryry?!?!"

"yea I am but still"

 I was kinda lost here if she was with Ryry who happens to be my bestfriend then y would she kiss me bck wouldn't she get mad and tell Ryry ugh this is all to weird ....

"but still wht do u still love him?" I asked scared fr th answer

"of course I do but I do have a crush" she smiled

"ohhh"

"yeah look Gerard I'm sry!! I should have not kissed u bck"

"it's okay I don't mind really"

she smiled "would u like to come in fr a while"

"yeah!"

 She opened th door nd I sat down she went into th kitchen nd she came out with some drinks nd chips she turned on th tv nd turned it to fuse they were giving loaded zomg!! they were giving Aiden loaded sweet! there pretty awsome ....

"I love Aiden" Kathy said

"same here they flipping awsome"

she giggled nd moved closer to me but she kinda kept her distance I jus could not stop thinking bout her lips there so soft nd sweet, I couldn't take it anymore I leaned in nd kissed her, she looked at me nd smiled, we started making out nd it was so amazing jus to feel her near me nd kissing me nd running her hand up my back it gave me chills down my bck, it almost lead to more but Kathy's phone went off nd she jus had to anser it.

~* Kathy on th phone *~

"hello?"Kathy said

"hey" I heard someone say

"Ry?"

"yea"

"ohh whts up sweetie" she smiled

"ohh nothin I jus miss u is all"

she looked down n in shame. "I miss u to"

I could tell she was bout to cry but she kept it in.

"I hope to see you soon" Ryry said

"same here I love Ryan'

"I love you Kathy"

"well Ry I have to go"

"alright bye"

 She hung up th phone nd ran to her room her mom jus got home nd I didn't know wht to do so I jus ran up to Kathy's room I walked into her bed room nd I saw a half bottle of phills nd her unconcouis ....

  ~*♥ Wht happen to the Gee everyone loved nd cared for I mean ppl still love nd care fr him but he's NOT THE SAME .... he's NOT Gee he seems like a WHOLE another PERSON am I th only one who relaizes this?!?! I mean look at his pics there so different yeah he's older but even if th band itself change Gee was always Gee now he's jus some lead singer guy :( ..... this is Gee before marriage awwe how cute ....

 This is him after doesn't he look different?!?!

 before

 After anything different?!?!

 before hmm ...


 After .... anything?!?!

Well I see it nd I think ppl do 2 well at least I hope they do so I don't think I'm crazy I'm happy fr him but I think he has CHANGED nd not th same Gee but it's jus me wht do u think?!?!

Gerard ‘s       NEW!!!  FIC haha! vry bored but I hope u like it :)

 

“Well …”      Gerard's pov ....

 

I really didn’t want to wake up this morning but Frank wouldn’t stop calling me for breakfast, I got up and put on my boxers and made my way to the kitchen, I saw Frank making breakfast, I wrapped my arms around his waist and started kissing his neck while he was finishing up breakfast.

 

“You know your making it hard to focus” he smiled

“Yeah! I know but you know you love it” I laughed

“Of course I do” Frank laughed and smiled

 

After 5 minutes Kathy came out of her room wearing Ryan’s shirt, she looked really pretty, she’s been dating Ryan for about a year now just as long as Frank and me have been dating.

 

“Good morning” I said as Ryan followed Kat

“Hey!” Kathy said nd hugged me

“How did u sleep?”

“I didn’t sleep” Kathy smirked

“ewww …..” Frank said nd hugged me

“Wht you guys do it everynite”

“So” I said nd kissed Frank

“Get a room” Ryan finally said

“We have a room but were just not in it” I smiled

“Whatever” Kathy said nd walked to th sofa.

 

I’ve been living with Frank nd Kathy for six months now, we’ve been off tour for a while now we might head out soon with Kathy nd Ryan nd his band nd maybe William’s as well, I’m not sure yet it’s up to Frank nd th rest of th band.

 

“So what are you guys doing today?!?!” I asked

“Hmmm … I have no idea,” Kathy said

“Me either” Frank said nd sat down

“I wanna go somewhere” I said nd sat on Frank’s lap nd kissed his check

“Where do you wanna go sweetie?” Frank asked

“To th mall maybe”

“Oh cool I wanna go” Ryan said

“Sure lets go but first lets get ready first cuz no one wants to see Gee in his boxers “Kathy laughed

“Yeah ur rite” I said nd ran to the room.

 

Frank walked in as I was getting dressed, I turned my attention to him nd smiled he walked over to me nd smiled nd leaned in closer to me nd gave me a kiss on th lips, I swear he’s kisses make me melt, we almost started to make out but Kathy nd Ryan knocked at th door “will u guys hurry up” Kathy said

“Yeah were coming,” I said as I out my shirt on nd Frank walked out Th room.

 

We made our way to Th mall Kathy nd I ran to the Hot Topic our favorite of all time, I saw this awesome band tee I wanted it so band but sadly I did not get is cuz I got some awesome converse nd some vans nd a happy bunny belt there so cute!, After shopping we went to th food court there we saw our lovely friends Bianca nd Brendon holding hands and kissing there so cute together, Kathy set them up wen she became friends with Ryry, her nd Bianca have been friends fr like as long as I can remember thts a long time but oh well.

 

“SWEETIE” Kathy yelled nd ran to give Bianca a HUGE! Hug

“HEY!” Bianca smiled

“Oh I have something to tell you nd it’s important nd HUGE!” Kathy said with a face

“Oh no” she frowned

“Yeah! I know”

“So plz!! Tell me”

“Well …”

WOOHHOOO!!!! ur now 26 HAHAHA!!!! how awsome is tht I LOVE YOU FRANKIE ur th best!! I HOPE U HAVING FUN .... make sure to get LOTS of candy haha nd dress up CUZ IT'S HALLOWEEN .... The best time of the YEAR!! well chirstmas nd ur birthday BUT STILL UR TH BEST MAN FRANKIE ... look how cute he looks at 6 now look at how he looks at 26

 

 Oh yummy vry vry vry YUMMY :)  (not 26 but u get th point) haha SOOOOO HOT!!! ND SMEXY .... UGH FRANK UR TH BEST .... I wish u th most happiest birthday in th worl love ya lot xoxoxoxoxo ..... now some random pics of mcr hahaha =D

 WOO!! now this pic is HOT!! haha he looks ever so HOT!!! here nd like a HOT nd SMEXY lookin nerd hhaha I want Frank as my nerd hhahahaha .....

 

 

 

MCR 2004 WOW look how different Frankie looks but still HOT nd SMEXY =)

MCR 2005 WOW!! how SMEXY haha I love how Frank looks :)

I have more pics but I won't post them all haha but u see how Frank has changed nd how HOT!! he looks hahaha .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOOOOOOOOZ!!! *dances*

~* This time it's for real not some joke I'm tired of playing around with ppl I mean this I'm really leaving not running away or dieing well maybe dieing but not just yet I'm jus leaving this site nd the internet I can't do it anymore theres no drama or anything but I think my mom is rite the internet has srly drived me crazy so my page will still be there but I won't I took to long making it jus to throw it away like tht no way buddy so yeah ....

~* I have met some amazing ppl on this site nd I love it dearly nd thts y it's hard to leave it but u know I have to I'm too scared to keep making friends cuz in th end I lose them nd they turn out jus like my Ex nd I don't want tht it sucks yes I know but it better fr me I can't go threw th fucking crying again it's not healthy fr me once I cryied fr 2 days straight nd I ended up bleeding from one of my eyes nd I'm not lieing well anyways I jus wanted to say y I was leaving not like it matter to anyone anyways ....

~* I'm going to miss my friends tht I had even if was only fr a moment but they were there fr me wen I needed them nd I feel like a bitch fr leaving them but trust me u don't want me as a friend I take things way to far nd I think thts th reason I lose everyone nd everything I love so I rather not keepin being on this site because of it blah my life is srly over nd I don't think I'll carry with out all u ppls but what happens wen I lose u later on I would be more crushed more then now *sighs* ....

~* Well my ex friends I'll be leaving u kno nd yes it hurts I don't think I'll be able to hold bck not gettin on but I have to if theres a chance I get weak nd get one jus know it's only fr a day not fr ever I can't fight th weakness at times nd hopefully I'll learn how to I love you guys more then anything but trust me I bring pain nd lots of it nd I don't wanna do tht to u I rather do it to myself not to speical ppl like u who deserve better then me as ur friend *sobbs* ....

~* Bianca I FUCKING LOVE YOU ... I'm so mad nd upset but I have to leave you my special sweetheart I can't keep acting scared to tlk to u cau at times I don't know wht I'm saying nd thts y I get in trouble with my mom nd other ppl sweetie pie I love you nd I hate tht I'm leaving u but trust me love it's whts best fr u my sweet nd wen I come bck even if it's fr a day I'll make sure tht ur th frist one I take my time to note u brang me so much joy nd smiling nd I know I'm a bitch nd all tht but believe I love you more then u'll ever know jus trust me with tht *kisses*

~* Jomaris HUNNY I'm gonna miss u A LOT u were my personal music helper nd really did come in handy as soon as I get th Aiden cd I'm gonna come on jus to tell u nd ask u fr th songs nd get off it's tht easy rite?!?! .... ur so awsome nd I'm so glad we tlked u seem really popular nd to cool to tlk to me but yet u still did tht made me feel so loved nd specail ugh I'm gonna miss u SWEETIE! ur th best I LOVE YOU *hugs*

~* Erin, Stephaine, Bdenbear, Tara, Meghan, all my other friend u guys rawk nd so does ur fics nd I love then tehe I'm gonna miss u guys a lot nd yeah I was not tht much of a friend to u guys but I tried at times nd I LOVE YOU so much tehe u rawk nd ur always in my heart .... well don't think u won't tlk to me anymore u still will jus not all th time once in a great while u'll talk to me so it's all good rite??!? like lets say u tlk to me tomorrow u probably won't tlk to me untill 2 or 3 weeks from them thts not bad I jus wanna be aline nd not wanna hurt no one byez I'll tlk to u all wen I feel in th mood or rly bored so yea tht one of th reason y I woun't delete my page yet jus in case I wanna tlk but idk bout tht .....